I don't know how anyone could look at this and not believe in God!

I have realized something today. I have realized why everything is falling apart. It is because now everything I have been trying to be okay with this year is tearing me apart. Before this school year, I had not been around anybody who does drugs, drink, or had sex. I know that for some people those things may be normal, but for me, and the way I have chose to have live my life. I thought that I could handle being around people who do those things. But I was wrong. It is not that I am judging them. I just know that for me, it is not okay to be around. I am already way too messed up with depression, and anxiety, that I really do not to be around things that could add more things to mess up my mind.  I want to be the person I wish I could be. I want to surround myself with people who are like that. I just don’t know what to do.I need a godly man, one who will make me a better person, and someone who just wants me for my heart. not any physical things. I really just want people to understand that I am not who they think I am. I am not some bitch who doesn’t care. I care about people to much. And that will, and always will be my downfall. But I am just too caught up in my routine, that I am too scared to change who I am to be who I want to be. I need God. And I need to find a way where I can reach my potential. Because right now I am just making it through life trying to be myself, but I am not really living. And I know I am not being who God wants me to be. I need my heart to be changed but I don’t know how to have it happen. Because pursuing God on my own really isn’t helping. I have made SO many mistakes. And it is breaking my heart. I need to start over. And I need to be the real me, because who I am right now will never make it in this cold world.

“Keep in mind that people change, but the past doesn’t."
-Becca Fitzpatrick